To Win-and Win Not

I am sure many of you know Earnest Hemingway's novel, TO HAVE and HAVE NOT. It was made into a B &W movie in 1944. Staring Humphrey Bogart and introducing and staring the sexy Lauren Bacall. (The word sexy in dictionary should have Bacall’s picture as example of sexy.)

This story is about races I should have won and did not. What I am about to tell happened long ago so some of the half dozen situations may not have occurred today.

I had two rooked situations which definitely reduced me to runner up in finals.
The worst was a race at an AHRA national event Winter Nationals in Tucson, Az. I was racing the early 80s Nitrous Small Block Zephyr Pro Stock Zephyr nicknamed ZEKE!

Nitrous for small block only had been put in rules as an option two years ago to try and even the sudden unlimited cubic inch rules .There was a lesser weight rule for unlimited cubic inch small blocks. Problem was the small block cars could not get light enough to use that weight break advantage. 600 plus CI plus Big Block cars could get to their min 2350# weight.

Enter The Nitrous Oxide Option. No SB CI Limit. But had to ad 250 LBS. to the Unlimited SB base weight. If canted valves,(like my Cleveland Ford-ad another 50# Types of trans also had wt. factors. My Merc Zephyr with Cleveland, NOS Nitrous and Lenco 4 speed weighed in at almost 2600 pounds. Zeke was AHRA legal.

I was sponsored by NOS .  In 1982 I had won a few races including an AHRA National Event and several runner ups. Also set several records. I might have won the AHRA pro stock season Championship if parts would have arrived on time. We were using los of parts, learning about nitrous. I missed AHRA Salt Lake  and Spokane, the AHRA World finals. By missing those last two events, I was reduced to 3rd. in the 1982 AHRA pro stock season championship.

Back to the before mentioned 83 Winter Nationals. It was the start of a new season. I was trying to win the AHRA pro stock championship this year. After months of preparation, and traveling 2000 miles through snow, ice, sleet, rain and high winds we finally made it to Tucson after 56 white knuckle trailer towing hours. Changing off driving with the late crew chief Cliff Sturm, and crew Terry Shirley and Dennis Paccetti.

I had run this race several times. The last season I was number 2 qualifier and I got runner up. This year I came loaded for bear. Good crew, Spare engine, spare Lenco and spare third member rear ends. I also had a spare set of new slicks. These were actually listed for a rail dragster. Slightly smaller than the popular Pro Stock Goodyears. These were much lighter with a Super soft compound. They would be needed before this week end was over.

  When we arrived at Tucson mid morning Friday an overnight snow was melting. By 1.00 pm I was ready to make a qualifying run. The first run was only average. Starting line was junk. It had been repaved and was pealing up.  By Saturday the track personal had moved the starting line ahead. I assumed the top end clocks were repositioned accordingly. Next run was better but we nipped a piston. We had to put my fresh 409 ci Cleveland in. Made another qualifying attempt. It was pretty good. We were number two after that. I wanted the number one spot. It meant another $500 bonus from my sponsor NOS.
It was late SAT. Night I made my last qualifier. About midnight, air temp 30 deg. F. I had put those new soft dragster tires on Zeke. I left starting line at 6500 RPM. Wow what a run. Those tires did the trick. I could feel them grab at all 3 shifts. We were number 1 qualifier by a bunch.

Later that night while celebrating being number one , one  of my crew dove in the motel pool. Wow. Dennis dove in clothes and all. I was 12.30 am and only 30 degrees. The desert gets cold at night.

At the track next day first round was at 1PM. Conditions ideal. Sunshine  and 65 degrees. In 1983 Pro Sock in AHRA was a 8 car field. Ladder was old school.  1 ran 5 -2 ran 6 and so forth.

So I had non other than Roy Hill for first round. Roy had a Mountain Motor Mercury Capri. Roy struggled to get to number 5. That big engine was too much for the Tucson track. We had swapped my engines Friday night from my killer 427 Cleveland to my 409” Cleveland and milder nitrous to get down that slick track.

My first round of eliminations turned out to be the most bizarre and longest stating line burn down in history.
Roy and I did our burnouts. We moved up to stage. Mike Thermos ,owner of NOS was my stage guide. As I start to light my first bulb ,Mike stops me. Roy Hill has backed up. I backed up to see his crew has rear deck lid off and adjusting his rear shocks. Starter motions for me to stage. All I had to do I light one bulb and Roy would be disqualified. But I wait. His crew finished and we start to stage again. Before I can light my first bulb, Mike stops me again. Roy has backed up again. So I back up again to see. Roy’s crew is now adjusting his wheelie bars. When done Roy backs back into the water! Well, hell. So do I. Roy and I start all over again. Both doing fresh burn outs.  The starter is going ape! This time we both pull up and in as we should. I beat Roy Hill and his mountain motor Capri.

In the semis I beat Jim Basko in a routine elimination. Seemed no one could get down that track but me.
For the finals I had a local entry, Bennie Flowers. He did not seem a threat. But I must have been over confident, plus being distracted with all the hub bub by announcing I was to receive the first ever AHRA ALLSTAR award. I was confident I could out run anyone that day. OOOPS! I forgot one of my cardinal rules. Never to under estimate your opponent.

Benny and I left the line fairy close. But Benny was staying with me. It was so close at end; I could not tell who won. Amazingly Bennies win light came on.
The announcers and fans went nuts. I must have been lazy at the tree. To add insult to injury, I had just ran the record Pro Stock et. For the event.

Some of my fans that were at the finish line bemoaned I had actually won by half a fender? Mid week I even got a call from a sponsor congratulating me for winning. When I told him I lost, He said, “Bull shit! I was standing right there but left as you crossed the finish line to catch my plane to LA.”

After the finish , I almost had enough fans etc. convince me to contest. But while returning to tower for my All Star award pictures I noticed  Don Garlits and Shirley Muldowny mid track arguing with staff as to who, if either had centerlined. Also it would be poor sportsman ship on my part to contest my finish. Plus when I got to  tower, Benny Flowers was in tears over winning. Repeating, “I NEVER WON ANY THING BEFORE” I was not about to rain on his parade.


So I was runner up at Tucson once again. Win Not!

ANIMAL JIM SEPT 2023.

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